Visions

The moment I started having visions—real visions—everyone else in my school also started having visions. Convenient, right?

Clearly they were jealous. I was seeing volcanic eruptions, lottery results, wars fought and lost, floods and fires. Everyone else was seeing, what, their great-aunt stub their toe?

Or their baby brother getting diarrhea. Or their dog escaping the yard. Or their dog getting diarrhea. Always an inordinate amount of diarrhea.

My sights were actually invaluable, but they got overshadowed by a bunch of imitators. But we’ll see who has the last laugh; tomorrow, I predict everyone at this school is getting diarrhea.