Why do people always run away from me? Just because I’ve officially been labeled the worst-smelling person in the entire world? Yeah, it’s probably that. When I came out of the womb, the OB-GYN and three attending nurses fainted. When I reached puberty, it somehow got even worse. Deodorants, chemical interventions, hermetically sealed suits—nothing helped. I had to attend high school remotely—my town passed a law about it. My parents have worn gas masks around me ever since I can remember. I just want someone to kiss me without wrinkling their nose or puking. Is that so much to ask?