Men: We were promised a false bill of goods. That the more we earned, the hotter our wives, the grander our mansions, the bigger our biceps…the happier we’d be. But if that were true, why are we so goddamn miserable? That’s why you’re here in this forest. To prove you never needed those symbols of success. What you need…is simply to survive. Like the cavemen we came from. Now, not all of you will be alive when I return in the spring. But those who are, you’ll have fought for it yourself, you’ll have won, and you’ll finally be happy.