Cream

Sorry, perhaps I wasn’t being clear: My face cream doesn’t actually make you more attractive, nor does it make others see you as more attractive—it makes you see a more attractive version of yourself in the mirror. Pretty clever, right? Because when it comes down to it, no one cares what you look like; they only care about themselves. Besides, whatever you change about yourself, some of humanity—most, even—will still find you unattractive (at best). So isn’t this better than being objectively beautiful, which was never achievable anyway? …Yup, you’d prefer a different cream. Figured. Hey, it was worth a shot.