Zombie Husband

I may be zombie now, but make surprisingly good husband. Herein, non-comprehensive list of positives:

• Never sleep; can therefore clean house all night so it pristine in morning
• Never eat; thus don’t complain about spice or salt levels of your jambalaya
• Not grossed out by kids' poop, dog's poop, toilet poop-fountain, etc.
• No road rage anymore; calm and measured reactions (ironic, since I was killed in road-rage accident)
• No longer need streaming live NFL package; keep self entertained by observing bugs in dirt, who must have vibrant interior lives themselves
• Can collect life insurance because dead (yet feel so alive)