Spa Day

Sit back, relax. For the next hour, let your mind wander. Imagine your worries melting away like so much candle wax. You certainly deserve some respite after the unimaginable stress you go through every day, Blessed Leader. It’s challenging work, guiding us down the true Ascension Path, shielding us from the voices blaring nonsense outside our fortified fences, the silly flyers they drop on us with drones. Working tirelessly to prepare us for the Eternal Future that’s imminent—any day now. If I help you relax, I hope you’ll allow me to be one of the first to Ascend with you?