I 100% knew ghosts didn't exist, which is why I was pissed to wake up as one. I tried everything—calling my parents (fingerprints no longer registered on the screen), taking Uchi for a walk (couldn’t pick up the leash, although he did cock his head when I screamed his name at the top of my lungs), eating, drinking a beer (no dice). Going to work was pointless—not that I’d ever felt necessary there anyway. The woman I’d been seeing on and off called a few times, then gave up. Basically, I exited my own life and no one even noticed.