It shouldn’t be possible to be in two places at one time, but: I’m home sick today. And I’m in my classroom, teaching my students polynomial functions. A clang in the kitchen, someone’s there—a robber. Ugh, parent-teacher conferences. The intruder threatens me with my own paring knife. Conferences stretch late into the evening. I manage to disarm him, the years of jiu jitsu paying off. Finally, I head home. He runs out; I could chase, but decide to just be thankful I’m safe. I reach for my front door, but it’s already unlocked. I open the door. The door opens.