No, I don’t need your firstborn; I'm a deity, not a monster. Just offer me something you deeply regret.

Like pointing out that your laughter at your partner’s jokes wasn't genuine, even once.

Like sleeping with your ex even though she's only in town for her bachelor party before she gets married to that Henry guy.

Like something so embarrassing, it still physically hurts your stomach decades later.

Like I never really loved you. Like You'll never amount to anything. Like Actually, son, you're the reason I left this family.

Because I'm a perfect god, and you're an imperfect human.