Yes, I’m the one you’ve been looking for—the infamous so-called Window Washer. The most legendary, elusive assassin alive. I’ve worked my deadly skills (undetectable poison, “accidental” defenestration, impossibly long-range headshot, subcutaneous nano-aortic rupturer) all over the world (Dubai, Zurich, Jakarta, Copenhagen). Once I slipped right under your noses dressed as a humble streetcleaner; another time I was your waiter at a Denny’s; each time I eluded your grasp while in plain sight. But I’m sick of running; I’ve killed my last man. So do your worst—again, seriously, I’m the Window Washer. Hey, come back, I’m trying to turn myself in!