Our new body spray, Simply Irresistible™, will change your life. It makes you unbelievably alluring to people of any gender(s) you prefer. As well as a target of many other living beings—particularly mosquitoes and stray viruses. Simply Irresistible™ also forces people to do whatever you ask of them—which gets into murky ethical territory that we’d rather avoid. When you wear this cologne, no one will be able to resist your singing voice, or at least they’ll really fake it well. The scent is reminiscent of damp feet after a long day of hiking. You’ll never stop smelling Simply Irresistible™.