I can neither confirm nor deny the exact nature of my government job, but it’s extremely important to this nation and über top-secret. Fine, since you’re already listening: I analyze clandestine files, hush-hush images, undisclosed data, need-to-know figures. Hint: Our focus rhymes with “schmaliens.” Saying more would risk everything…but because you’ve been so quiet, it might be a black-ops department even the President knows nil about. You didn’t hear it from me, but our prototype InfinitiRay sends enemies directly into the sun. Why sure, I’d be thrilled to go through this self-checkout lane first! I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.