Oh wow, Ms. Pericles? It’s been so long! Perhaps you don't remember me, but: I was one of your most mediocre students! I fell asleep in class constantly (and snored), I rolled my eyes when I didn’t understand things (frequently, since I was usually on my phone), I made fart noises with my leg against the chair (and by farting).
But if you want to know how I turned out, you might be interested to know that...it's exactly what you’d expect! I'm a lazy worker, inattentive partner, fair-weather friend, and unengaged citizen (I swear I’ll vote…someday). Aren't you proud?