Big Old Baby

Eventually the taxes, heartbreak, back pain, and everything else got to be too much, so he decided to revert to being a baby. It certainly was easier: His adoptive parents cleaned up after his messes, fed him, swaddled him, cooed over tasks he now found ridiculously simple. He never worried about his career, rent payments, or credit card debt. He wished he could stay this way forever—and thankfully, once he put his mind to growing as little as possible, he was able to stay small. In fact, one could say growing as little as possible was what he’d always done.